Entry 107: Sometimes, what drags us down ...isn't feelings....

They created us and
They brought us into this amazing world.
One that is once so strange and unfamiliar...

Who are they to determine our lives?

Who are they to make most of our decisions for us?

Who are they to bring such great impacts to our hearts and souls?

Some things never change.. Not even after centuries..

They came from a whole different century compared to us.

They had the toughest times they thought.

And all our hardships are deem just tiny stones to them.

Do you think this is just?

They are a major influence and they affect us to a large extent. We were taught to respect authority and those elderly. We are unfillial if we rebut.

And so I am.

But who are they to judge respect?

If they can't model genuinely too, how are we gonna learn at our best?

Contradicting.

Have you ever wondered who are you marrying to?

His parents or him??

If love is present, what is it that holds the two back?

If you ever wondered deep enough..

He told me not to be bothered when situations he created befalls on me like I'm the guilty one.

His mom sarcastically mentioned that she wouldn't use my lappie anymore after some MSN thing.

I wasn't angry at all. But what agitated me was him.

He who doesn't understand the basic respect I ought to have when I said No.

I told him not to "confront" her but he refused and charged ahead with his ever pissing tone.

That's it.

He unknowingly pulled trouble onto me.. so what am I gonna do?

You woke up the next morning, greeted with ignorance and silence when you said "good morning auntie"

How would you feel?

You came out of the washroom and saw her making sandwich as usual.. Yet she took the sandwiches to her own daughter's room instead of leaving it on the table like the past few days.. and she didn't make your share like how she did lately..

How would you feel?

She is not obliged to do anything for me.. But for the least, does it have to be this way?

You made it so obvious that you're after me. And it was because of what he voiced out which largely was due to his displeasure more than mine. I was fine with it. seriously.

I cried this morning due to frustrations..and again when I can't reach him at all after school.

I know he was sleeping.. But how am I gonna go back just like this?

I have nuts idea if she is just after me alone or both of us.

I went back my own home. And this is somewhere I really could relax.

I don't have to care what mistakes I'll make cos I know people in this house underestand and will be forgiving. This is where people won't assume after I've clarified.

I really really hope things will be fine after today.

I'm really tired of trying..

When trying becomes a chore..

would you feel like giving up..?

I felt so.. If I don't mind about future..

I wouldn't be bothered to maintain any good relationships with his family members..

No matter how much I tried, he or they never really acknowledge..

I'm tired.. really..