I HATE compulsory stuff.
And I hate it when his off day falls on either a MONDAY/THURSDAY which I have LONG school day.
Nevermind.
It doesn't matter if I have to stay up a lil longer just to wait for him whose shift ends at 11pm at times.
It doesn't matter if he feel so tired that most of the time, all he does back home is sleeping or gaming.
It doesn't matter if time is lacking between us cos I hope we still do feel the connection.
It doesn't matter how terrible it is to have this strong misses for him that I can't get rid of.
It doesn't matter if we don't celebrate any monthsaries with just the two of us.
It really doesn't matter..
He has an upcoming COMPULSORY chalet that he needs to attend from morning to late night.
He said he will be back by midnight. I'm sorry, that can't be any true for me to believe.
He doesn't think.
It is a sixth. You people should know at least.
He promised to spend his off day the following day which falls on a FUCKING thursday with me.
HOW?
I have lessons from morning 9am til 5pm.
By the time I reach home it is freaking 6 plus.
Is he dreaming that he has the whole of friday too?
Don't tell me I still have the remaining time to spend with him after school.
He has to work.
He needs rest.
I don't need anything from him.
I know it is beyond his control
It is not an option.
I wish I could be that unreasonable to the extent that he would just find the whole million excuses to skip the chalet thingy just for my sake.
He is sleeping soundly.
I am tearing, I don't deny.
If attachment doesn't start next week, I would have another Wed with nothing on.
Tracy GF is not free either.
I'm feeling so..
I really wish to tear this world apart.
I don't like it when things go against me.
Pearl dearie said that she wanna break free from the dependency.
Should I too?
I think I really need to.
No, he doesn't read this.
He doesn't need to know now.
That all I feel of is gonna be numb some day.
This is not the way I thought it would be.
I just wanna get a lil pessi.
Cos when you thought that things will go well
it always slaps you hard with reality
What's more to hold on when we can't go against certain things.
Life.
Too tired to explain..
dearie , CALL ME when you need someone to shout/talk/rant - i can't promise to be always available , but i can promise to try ; i can promise you at least 5minutes. i know how you feel , i really do. especially right now. no matter what you choose, i just want you to be happy ,and if possible, be stronger! i know you can, and i believe you'll be happy if you choose. we've a similar mental battle to stand through, & i know we can make it ! * HUGS <3 <3 <3
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