Entry 72: Mental Wounds Can Be Healed..But The Scars Stay..

Every day and night I wonder

Is it so hard to get over

When people stop talkin

You thought they are not lookin

But in fact they are still

Is it because of an incident before

That people gave me more attention than I needed

It's like they are everywhere

Hoping to see you fall

So when you tell them

You know where you come from

What kind of persona you gonna portray

When the slightest mistake you do

Everything is gone

Til now I don't understand

Why is it that people keep holding on to something

Or some news which has expired

And try to create new ones

Or rather an "updated" one just to stir things up again

Is it the joy or thrill in doing so?

Are they psychotically ill?

What do they benefit from killing someone

Being a mental murderer

I received two calls from the same person

He claimed himself as David (how true?)

He first used a private number to call me on Thursday afternoon.

Then he messaged me.

And yesterday morning, he gave me another call from a house or public phone number(god knows)

He mentioned again and again that he wanna befriend me.

Yet on the contrary, he said that he was going to send all my lingerie and biks photos with some editted photos (which I don't know what he meant) and my sis's videos to my house and around the neighbourhood.

So, I recorded a short conversation from the call yesterday.

He knew I was recording and yet he continued..

He asked very personal and insulting questions which I don't think there's a need to mention it here.

I've reported it to the NPC.

Am still considering whether or not to report to the magistrate, meaning..

Surbodinate court.

I hope he is reading this..

He wanted to shame me.

And before I could voice out he ended the call.

To the world that is listening..

Do you know how much it takes for my sis to go through all the attention, despise, comments, and finger-pointings during that long period?

She broke down. She did.

But isn't it such a relief that you people who bugged on that has not made her end her precious life?

You think that is just too mild for her?

It was not.

I bet it was tremor she'd gone through.
How could you imagine being in her shoes, her plight

When anyone else other than her is just the "audience"

It's like a top-rated movie going on and on

It hit the box office record

Bringing it the best profits ever

But who do you think suffers?

No one but her.

Not even the guy could feel the hurt

Maybe a lil pinch

What else?

Even I, myself don't understand and can't really feel what she has gone through

It is not like a relationship failure where the hurt will just go away someday

Mental wounds can be healed

But over time, it is the surrounding that determine largely

How much are the wounds gonna recover

The scars stay forever..

When you can't empathise with people around you

Who are you to be receiving the empathy from others?

You are just someone who deserves nothing

Theoretically, the good will always triumph the evil

But in actual, the good guy and bad guy thing..

They are so much of a bullshit

I never deny that bad guys do get caught

But tell me, how many are they still at large?

How do you determine?

We are not Saints.

We are not God.

We do have our goods and bads.

That is what makes us complete.

But to the extent of hurting someone else just for the pleasure of one self..

What do you benefit, seriously.

Tell me.

There is so much that I wanna say

But even if I voice out

Who is there who listened and do something to cease all these?

Who really would stop reproducing and churning out new news of us

Or of any other innocence?

Who ?

This world is sadly

Nothing we learn in preschool

The simple moral value of empathy.

I guess, we're all lackin behind small kids

Or worse, we're all nothing but cold-blooded creatures

Lurkin for the next prey..

I don't wanna be under the spotlight of her shadow..

I don't need the attention anymore either..