Enty 189: Oops..[Updated with pic]

7.00am: [Just had much laughter and rubbish talking together! Lols. Simply enjoying~]

Wanted to upload a pic seconds ago.

But Boney scolded me for not remembering NOT to upload anything while he plays Dota >.<

shall upload the pic when he is not playing then..

xD

Things have been great for us lately..

Both trying to keep our cool.. and let things pass~

yeah, I am slowly letting go.. after all he assures me..

Well, who knows if the worst might ever happen again?

This bet gotta be big and daring..

Yet even if I lose..

What I wasted was years of commitments and efforts.. maybe youth..

But the least I know, we both love each other =D

Shall end here..

Somehow, I like the idea of not having a phone xD

buahhahahhaha

Entry 188: Nica Nica!

I bought cash out item for my char to wear!
Simply love it! xD

 Sexaye reddie!!

=D

Red coat plus red undies..

HAHA

with bunny gloves too!

And a big red ribbon~

All for SGD6.30

kinda waste for game?

BUT I LOVE IT!

Ooh.. the more I play and see my reddie

the more I love her~~

LMAO.

Ok.. shall go orh orh le..

Goodnight ppl! =D

Entry 187: Simply Replies.

Replies:

Edit: Hey Anon,

I used photoshop to do that (:

just some downloading of brushes from http://www.deviantart.com/ under search or photoshop brushes

and fonts from http://www.dafont.com/

Hope this help!

The FishSpa at Farmart is around old Choa Chu Kang Road, Sungei Tengah there..
There are two or three shops there, if I'm not wrong, it's something call pavillon or what one. Can't recall xD
Has been quite some time ago but according to them,they said the price is fix (:
Do let me know if there is a change if u ever go there!


As for the toolbar thing..
Go to :
Settings - Basic - Global Settings - Select Post Editor - Updated editor - Save settings!

Entry 186: FatFish Steamboat

YES! Last night was a BLOATIFUL steamboat dinner night!

hahas.

Ate for at least hours man!!

As the title suggests, that steamboat place is located at some up hill kinda place around Sembawang.

It is a newly opened steamboat restaurant, less than a month!

Staff there are friendly and humorous.

Or maybe it was because two UNCLES there were joking around with them?

Lol!

Anyway, the rates are like $5min per dish.

PER DISH.

not per person, don't get me wrong. ^.*

We ate a total of SGD149.10!
If I'm not wrong? It wasn't considered too expensive considering that we REALLY ordered a lot!

And there are 6 feeding mouths! =P

Okok.. the MUST eat..

PRAWN PASTE! Maybe it tasted like normal prawn fingers but well, I like it!

=D

Heard the Koka Chef came over..
so the food taste much like there? It isn't bad though.
Definitely fresh!
^.^ Simply worth every penny you spend

Ohoh.. and there is a mini pub with pool table just beside.. Before you reach the place, you'll see another pub too! There are some club there but heard it ain't very "busy" type.


Anyway, just a lil update on us.
We're still together obviously..
Both trying real hard to make things work, provided my wire don't "sot" again!
Certain things, it can't be erased or put behind simply after changes
But we'll make it really a past.

I sincerely hope, girl, leave him alone.
I know you both have a wonderful game status and stuff, but as much as both wanted the best of two worlds, there are people who can't take it.

His mom told me that I have to be strong. Picturing his dad, she said, that is the way he would grow up to become too.
The way they act, their temper, the way they talk in a "flirty" manner
xD

I never thought I could ever be as noble as the two Moms in my life..
Her and my Mom.
Both experienced the period of "out-of-track" husbands
And they faced the women who intruded into their lives.
Mom was noble cos she thought we should have a proper family unit.
She "begged" the woman to leave my dad at that period of pregnancy - me
It was fortunate that that woman was willing to.

Mom would have left Dad, she assured me.. if it wasn't for us..

I know Mom still bear feelings for Dad. And that is for sure.
Though she always denies! =P

Was it her that made me afraid of being in her situation too?
Experiencing what she had gone through in my own life?
Yes, I'm scared. More than anything. More than Death.

I'm not strong. Remember..
My heart has been defeated several times, tearing it apart by all negative things that happened..

okok, shall end here.. getting long-winded >.<

Entry 185: The Unfinished Episodio

Click on Image.

This is my added blog for things that I've read and find it inspirational.

It is nothing about personal opinions but more of extracted/quoted/translated version of books.

It has been quite some time since I last read these kinda "self-upgrading" books..

They always make me reflect about life and myself.

Love it (:

Do click on ads ya!!!!! =D

Replies:

To both Anons..


First, the fish spa thing we went:

http://www.toothlessfishspa.com/

I tried the one at farmart.. as usual I'll recommend for a cheap one.. $8/30mins
^^


Second, what updated version??0.o?

 

Entry 184: Last and Enjoy!

I just realise there is this new setting for posting.

You have to click the "updated version" to enable the toolbar that you would normally see above your text box.

Well, but the whole layout now.. as in the screen that I'm currently seeing is like ..

indescribable white and plain and.. navigations are in a vertical manner.?

ooh.. Don't really like it though xD

Anyway, Baby should have his interview today but down with diarrhea!

He must be feeling so umcomfortable..

Applied ointment for him and he is currently back to sleep again.

Interview postponed to tomorrow so I could accompany him down too!!

=D

Having my last paper for this first sem!!

Honestly, I just wish I would pass all my modules cos..

despite the fact that I kept telling myself I NEED to buck up cos I'm always o.xx away from GPA of 3.5!

Lols.

Didn't really attend lectures attentively or faithfully..

Not all lecturers are kind enough in their grades either..

And.. didn't really focus on revision though I tried cos too many things were running through my mind!

Just a quick reminisce~

It was us when we just got together for a few months I think..

I don't really remember where were we at.. but definitely took quite a few shots there!! =D

Just yesterday,

He told me he doesn't want to lose me again..

And when I told him I wanna stay home for a night, he refused and insisted..

“我不管，我要带老婆回家”

(^(oo)^)v

Sweet!! hahas..

Can't help but smile from the bottom of my heart due to his child-like character and that monkey face >.<

Isn't he the one who holds on dearly?

It might not be apparent but I sense it..

And those that he'd mentioned about..

If I weren't the one he is really goddamn serious about, he would have kick me out of the house!!

LOL!

I knew this.. and I am certain about it.

^^

Entry 183: Sacrifices VS Guilt

It took so much courage for him to.

It took me quite a struggle to accept his will to.

There was nothing of a win-win solution.

I've given up my sake of being clear-minded.

And he too forsake all he has dearly in it.

I know how it feels totally and I felt really guilty

He believes it was the only way to see me happier

And boy, with all that you've said and done

I trust that..

I was never wrong to stay

It is you I never wanna let go

And it is me you never wish to part from

Send me those clear messages that I'm the most important person to you

I'm really thankful..

I am.

For everything you've done thus far

I see the pain you suffer too

But less than they are comparable to all my emotions

They went haywire in my mind

Linking all nasty past experiences

I once broke down and resist on

It was them that I couldn't be conscious

Recalling back then as a childish lil Secondary One girl

I had the same foolishness to divert my pain and attention to external stuff

At least, I won't feel that much of the ache in my heart

I am naive. In this act, yes I am.

Yet it was a wake up call to both of us.

Reminding each other how much we need us.
It was then we learn to sacrifice.

And not just on him, but on me.

He had his sacrifices and I had mine too.

Things are clear enough for people watching this scene to interpret.

But it ain't a drama that's gonna end here.

We have thousands, millions and zillions of episodes going on..

It is gonna be a never-ending one..

As harsh as it can be, conflict resolution is the key.

Replies:

Anon, the posting thing.. it took me a VERY long time.. weeks.. to recover..

Which is quite annoying as all you could do is .. WAIT -_-

>.<

Entry 182: YT's Bdae and some random pictures!

Entry 181: Endless Assurance and Love

What we had is not going to end.

It might be tough to withstand the insecurity in me.

But whenever he strokes my head reassuring me

I sensed how much he needed me still.

He teared when I broke down completely saying I'm reaching my limits

I can't feel myself with him

And I can't hold this fear any longer

We thought we should just let each other go..

But far more than the heart ache we could take

we stayed in each other's arms..

It's going 2years.

It ain't too long..

But for everything we have had and are going to share together every tomorrow

I believe we'll pull through.

I confessed I really wish to be the one who he would talk to about his unhappiness

And he said though certain things he might wanna tell someone else..

It's me that he'll gonna share forever with.

And nothing else is more important than having me by his side.

Sweet. (^(oo)^)"

He promised to make things better..

Through lil actions..

And he did..

I saw and appreciate the efforts (:

I love him..

And for that, I'll never gonna let go

P.S: Baby, I'm never gonna say goodbye..cos I don't wanna see us cry ..

Replies:

A big thanks to all those that commented and empathise in my situation.

As much as I'm going thru, I bet he is struggling to assure me too.

We'll work together for sure to build a stronger trust and security! =D

Entry 180: Better?

I've calmed down a bit after a talk with him last night

I cried real hard knowing how sweetly he talks to her

And I wanted to give up cos I can't take those shyt I'm feeling

He finally talked to me

He told me ..

He doesn't want others to know what we're going through

He never wants to give up

He never wishes to let me keep my options open

He never likes her

And that will never be

He admitted he treat her very well n much like an online ingame couple thing.

He explained that he wants the best of both worlds

And he knows his limits.

He assured again that he won't bring online or game thing into real life

And that is for sure.

He gave me his words and I believe he'll keep it.

He explained why he'd rather talk to her bout certain things

Cos all I'll ever revolve around is her..

And she is the topic.

He doesn't like it. I know.

They are much alike..

In the sense that they wish to have the best.

And they both are clear nothing goes beyond virtuality.

They enjoy each other's accompany in game

And they talk more like a real couple.

But he assured.. Nothing else in game

Once the game falls or collapsed

everything ends there.

I've been feeling real down and hasn't been focusing on revisions.

I did.. but minimal..

The feeling still has yet to subside and I'm sure it's gonna take time.

After all that he made me feel unclear about..

I'm tired..

I'm playing nica now too..

But I doubt I'll chase his level which is quite far away.. and leveling is slow =(

I have to study !!

And I was thinking bout the initial purpose of playing..

Somewhat to get to his level, be able to party him..

and stop their couple relationship in game..

But I doubt I wanna destroy all he is enjoying happily now..

I sense how superior he feels knowing that people somehow "praise" about his character's gears and stuff.. and when others said the same to her character..

He feels proud. Cos her character is one of his "masterpiece"

I understand. Really.

But as much as he wish me to realise that he wants to be what he could be in virtuality..

That he can't in real life..

I wish he could empathise with my situation.

Accepting my emotions with better communication and not a harsh tone.

He's just irritated by how I'm paranoid over them.

I am too.

He loves me. He confessed so.

I know it's true..

I might can't help feeling negative..

cos whenever I try to do something to please him..

It proves adverse effects..

I'm lost.

If you would realise how much everything I've said contradicts..

You would maybe..

realise how I'm feeling messed up..

You said she knows how you're feeling..

She knows when exactly you're not being your self.

And I know I couldn't.

It's always like this.

People out of the picture who explains it to you

You accept it.

But when I do.. you hastily entertained.

It's hurting.

You don't realise.

I'm feeling useless when I can't do what a girl of yours should do.

Sharing the most ..

And of all happiness, the anger and sadness..

The woes..

But you chose to give it to her.

I'm sorry.

I'm just not perfect enough.

I'm living on my life..

And I'll be making the best out of everything I have..

Including everyone..

I don't have much guy friends cos I believe I don't need them when I have you

And all I ever needed is you..

It was a wrong move I took..

In not just our love but every other relationship I've had.

No turning back

Move forth..

And time will tell it all..

Thanks for holding on...

I love you.

Entry 179: I talked.. To her finally..

Mom..

Are you listening..

Why would you have stayed when you know Dad had done wrong more than once.

You told me cos of us.

Have you suffered?

Cos when I see that face of yours

I see the hardship you went through

You firmly told me you would have left if it wasn't for our sake

Your love touches me

And the thought of keeping us, nurturing us

In a normal family unit

makes me strong

I look into your eyes

I listen to your words

In them I sense the optimum feelings hidden deep down

I know you have him there somewhere

somewhere no one else would ever replace

no matter how harsh he replies you

like how I would become likely with him..

Mom..

I fought back my tears cos I don't wanna break down in front of u..

I love you..

U know u want the best of all the three of us..

Thanks Mom..

Of everything you have given me..

I'm thankful..

Entry 178: FINALLY YO!!

FINALLY MAN~~

I CAN SEE THE TOOLBAR!!

WOOHOO!!

Oh oh.. please please..

Don't go away anymore..

It is HORRIBLY MISERABLE without u!!!

xD

Entry 177: Much better.. communication over rides~

Firstly, I gotta thank everyone who sent me their regards and encouragements.. Wayne's really appreciative of that.. even to unknowns out there.. Wayne is really thankful. It definitely lifts up her spirits and make her move on every time she faces herself.


I've just msn-ed the girl. And I'm feeling much better. She doesn't sound bad.. And it wasn't a catfight-like conversation (if you're wondering) ^.*


Guess, my weakest is the fact that I can't stop thinking if I can't talk peacefully with people involved. I have to make sure that something in my heart and mind is completely solved for an ease of mind >.<
Should that be something which hindered my growth and maturity.. I don't know. But I do know all I need is to talk.
And voicing out for me is surely the best way..


Chubby is out of the bathroom with member alr! Now it is MY turn to go bathe! =D
Thank you people.



P.s: I know you love me, neither do you wish to lose me, but there are things, you just gotta let me be involved in solving.. I'll feel better (^^,)v

Entry 176: Still..

I'm at BOYFRIEND's house now.. Been her blogshop model last night. Really horrendous and unglam. LMAO!!
Even acted MJ man~! LOL


I'm thinking of him so much. We compromised each other and hopefully things will go on well..


I acted like I could accept him being unable to forgo a 2weeks game "close friend" who once call him dar so many darn times.
I acted like I could accept the fact that he rather leave me feeling hurt there than to do something I requested to make me, this going 2yrs girl feel happier.
I acted like I could accept seeing them chat, even w/o her calling him dar.
I acted ike things would go back to normal..
I DO love him a lot but I acted strong and try to fight back my tears, not wanting him to feel forced.


How could I take this if they would eventualy become longer close game friend.. If he gets online so often.. Even if he has to work, his daily routine never leaves game. How much time can I realy talk to him nicely? How much can I chat with him?


It all just started with names. I know I hold on too tight.. But I thought I wasn't being too unreasonable when the reaction he gave was simply refusing to try do something further to stop her since I don't like it. Then now, he told me he can't promise he won't talk to her.


Same old thinking, if you can't let down a 2wks girl who treated u well in game, u considered both of u really close.. married ingame status.. how would me, 2yrs girl, feel knowing I'm sharing names with other girls? Did u ever ask me?


He won't be seeing this. And even if he did, he don't understand. he took his stand so firm on this but not on her and my request.


As much as I'missin him now, I fear that I'll lose my control when I see him. I'm afraid I'll say things harshly, and I'm afraid to see them talk. But I don't wish him to hide from me either. Why does everything contradicts itself so much..


I'm telling myself to let go more than I thought I have to. I'm feeling really miserable on and off.. And I can't stop thinking about her. I know they wouldn't go beyond game friend.. But I don't like it seriously. Yet he can't and don't want to do anything.


It is not about whether I could cope with what future comes.. but it is too much for me..


I think I neda find more friends.. I think I need to find more companions.. I think I shouldn't be that faithful treating him as my very priority when he can't even achieve something so simple.


I've gone crazy. Crying and laughing. Geting sad and angry then happy.. it is like never-ending.. and I thought..


It is time to let go slowly.. til the day I can pick up the courage to leave, I'll go..

Entry 175: 6th August - Mich's Bdae!

Blogger still doesn't solve this mass problem of missing toolbar -_- Inefficient.
But hell no! Nothing's gonna stop me from blogging photos of my special loves!


Celebrated at Kel's workplace, a KTV pub. He hired a private transport to fetch us from Lavender station to his workplace and booked a BIGGEST room! OMG.
That was SO FUN and EXCITING!!





























































Randomly picked photos.. cos bucket is kinda slow too in uploading -_-
Will upload in my FB.. Check it out there if you're interested to see more of us! xD


The celeb ended pretty high with MAYDAY's Lian Ai ING..! Mich gf and I love tt song man! SHOUT L.O.V.E people!! =DD


That's all for irritating blogger.