Have you ever felt once.. like how I'm feeling recently? It never fails to bug me in my head and experiences I had just couldn't stop haunting me. What's more when all these start to make me feel a lil resentful about life..?
I've never once lament over such matters cos I thought one day someone would stand up and take over my place. Even if it's just once, I'm happy.
But I'm tired. Really tired.
Tired of being the odd one out when most of the times, I'm not even the last to be counted.
I'm tired of voluntarily being the good person just to fulfill what others detest and unwilling to do.
I'm tired of hoping in vain that someone would understand my weariness and talk for me.
I'm tired of waiting for someone to truly understand how it feels to be at where I'm standing.
Everything happens for no reason. And I'm always being the good one to help others achieve their "aims". Alright, maybe not all the times, but most.
In school, in some cliques, in families.. I don't wish to carry on living like this. So what if there will bound to be returns someday?
I just wanna say it once and for all..
I'm tearing down this better side of me.
I don't mind if I'm gonna be the bad guy people are gonna comment or gossip about.. I just wanna live another way now.
Regardless it's the real me or not.. Don't waste your time and effort to judge. Judgements can be full of flaws, loopholes, and sometimes, fatal (:
Just, though I abhor, I do still look forward to what life has to offer for me..
So don't worry about me thinking too negative about life. I still love living ^^
p.s. Don't even try to start understanding me like you think you do just because you read this and wanna make me feel like you're that "someone" I'm hoping to meet.. it's never too late.. but it is still.. somehow.
have you read this book? "Who will die if you cry?"
ReplyDeleteeveryone have a choice..