YI: This is an extremely lengthy post, skip it if you're lazy to finish it off.
It is not peculiar to see me blogging about stuffs that requires you to think about relationship - or specifically, L.O.V.E.
After the incident, I doubted myself of the firm position to be in to be talking about faith, determination, perseverance and acceptance. Then I woke up from this enlightenment from someone's thoughts on her blog.. I realise that if I think deeper, search deeper, don't you notice even the most successful couples had once let themselves down? But this side that you're seeing of them, they could tell you great suggestions to improve your relationship, isn't it?
Bottom line: It doesn't matter if you've done wrong, what matters is what have you learnt?
I've learnt the heartache in such a way that I couldn't bear. People told me how I should move on. Looking into the faces of my loved ones, visualizing what's his. The sufferings implicate not just myself, but even to the most innocent ones.
I learnt: Overexpression of feelings vitiate the once pure and innocent love you talk about.
You can be expressive cos you have the freedom of speech to people around you, 'cept for political issues that might get you into deep trouble. Today's focus, as suggested on my title.. and so here goes..
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The BRAIN versus The MIND
Have you ever said something like..
"girls are hard to understand!"
"I don't know what you're thinking of"
"I don't know what you want"
"What exactly is in your mind?"
If you have ever said or heard them, then this is what I'm gonna elaborate on in my own perception. But of course, there are bound to be discordant of opinions in others, including you.
The brain is structurally organised in such way that is proven both physically through operational examination in the hospital theatre and in written forms as theories to guide you. It's either you lack of something in the brain, which bears a name to its part and has its own functions, or you have the entirely normal brain structure with all the necessary lobes, and veins etc, in it, functioning properly. You
KNOW what is in the brain. Even if you don't, there
ARE always informations available on net or in specialised organisations like the hospital or specific brain departments.
But for the mind. Partially, we could see how the brain works through some technical devices due to our ever advancing technology. We could determine that the
MIND is working..
BUT we can
NEVER know what exactly it is. We have no idea what thoughts and feelings are churning out from the mind itself. We look at the non-verbal expressions like face, and body, to help us analyse what the mind could be thinking of. And that is why we have vocabulary words like "angry" and "sad". However, as you progress in life, be it the maturation of age or thinking, you could somehow sense the capability of people around you, including yourself, the ability to hide your emotions. You're your own emotions' safekeeper that is empowered to do so in a marvelously miraculous manner. Am I wrong to say that? You have the choice in hand to decide whether to
SHOW or
NOT to show them out. Or the highest level you attained is to show without tallying to your real emotions. Be it to deceive or hide. Pertaining to this issue on emotions, I shall not explain in greater details. The
emphasis here is to show you how much you
cannot accurately verify what is in the mind.
The brain is complicated but still apparent, yet the mind is not. The mind is invisible to our naked eyes, and it cannot be seen under microscopes. You can feel it yourself, but sometimes, you might not be able to conclude it verbally to others. The mind is more sophisticated then the brain. So much more that no one could come up with a sound theory to support it.
The HEART versus The FEELINGS
Doctors and nurses always find the opportunity to look what's in the heart, but not many others whose occupations do not fall under the medical group have the benefit to do so.
Similarly, compared to the brain, heart is a visible part in your body. You can hear it beating, see it pumping. But feelings in this aspect, cannot.
We ever say that we could not describe how we feel in words. This is because some big thoughts in your mind cannot be broken down into different smaller segments to better explain to other people. Yet, majority of us chose to believe the myth that every feelings can be verbalised. Which, in fact, could not. Maybe a psychologist might tell you to relax your mind and think through it again.. Maybe you see pictures here and there and you could say them out.. But when you try picturing them together, or someone else try to help you do so, you realise what is said is NOT the exact thing. You can't say what went wrong in those sentences of interpretation, but you know something is just missing.
On the contrary, it might also be because you have the awareness that certain things should better be left unsaid. These unspoken feelings create a barrier to your verbal expression, and it might even confused you of the initial meaning that you were very clear of. You tend to get blur vision of what is in you mind and how you feel exactly in a wholly way. This barrier problem is not a cinch that can be removed in any facile methods. Then again, a change in position or relationship could help improve this situation. But who knows when that twist happens, do you still feel the need or even remember what you feel initially that you were dying to say them out previously? You might even forgot how that strong desire to be heard feels like.
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All in all, The mind and feelings are indeed tough to comprehend. Under circumstances, with contributing factors, situations vary, and so does the working of your mind and feelings.
Some people don't understand cos they can't accept the queer way in which these two awesome gems work. They could make you shine but they are hard to find at times. In us is a mine yet to be discovered. This mine only has one person working on it, so whether you could dig those gems out is a miracle gift from someone up there.
So, next time if you hear someone so lost about what he/she is thinking or feeling in him/herself, don't be quick or frustrate to jump to conclusion. Be accepting. This is the best for the person. ^^
P.S: Love does not exist in utopia.
I wasn't too naive to think anything would change the quality of our relations. Maybe it was just a lack of appreciation, a lack of awareness. Some things don't come easy, even if it does, it might not be effortless to maintain it either. What we don't see is what we can't feel.. And because we can't feel, we know we don't truly appreciate or for the minimal, try to understand and accept.
