Entry 442: 爱的责任

也许，在一起就只能这样。。

I was wondering if further responsibilities start to kick in..

what would happen?

Even the best falls sometimes..

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme..

Whatever collides in my life.. in your life.. in our life..

What we could do..embrace it.

I considered a few factors that kept us together.

Not gonna mention to anyone though.

It might be outta the reason of love and feelings.

It could be something so essential and satisfying

It could be something so habitual and comfortable

It lingers, it provides..

...

A few more things I wanna talk about here ..

about the changes I've made or decided to make and start.

...

I want to stay in this shape. I have been eating proper meals every day. Trying to strive the 3meals a day target.

I am doing well so far..

Not sure if fats are gonna add on but I'm sure I'm happier..!

I eat what I want.. whatever time it is..

I don't bother to show that "pass" sign to food anymore.

Unless I really really am still very very bloated.

But surprisingly, I'm hungry almost every meal time.

And I eat quite a lot now (:

I go for food with strong taste and I'm a lil into sweetened drinks.

I know the latter is not very healthy..

Maybe my body has been deprived and is asking for more now!

Haha greedy.

I do not want to go on a diet and reach the sexy figure goal that every girl wants to achieve.

Cos it makes guys drool.. and it attracts them more than anything else..

That is part of outer appearance.

I try not to wear anything that requires heels..

except for certain occasions..

and maybe certain places..

Cos I love slippers and sneakers..

The comfort they give..^^

...

Yesterday, we went NEVERLAND..

As usual at places like this, I had sips of drinks..

And observed the surrounding.

Girls, especially.

There are local girl dancers and they were scantily dressed..

Awfully, touched by many guys..

Maybe not the boobs but the waist?

It might be no big deal to you..

But I thought.. for a moment..

Is this the kinda girl guys want?

Don't say no too quickly.

For people who go to such places, they are more or less in this situation whereby 'socialising' is nothing special.

An incident hit me last night.

Two girls came over with four shots left.. and asked my friends to buy them all..

My boyfriend and I came back to the table and they were already there.

So he joined in the 'commotion' while I walked back to the table.

He suddenly pointed towards my direction and the girls walked over to me saying how good and nice my boyfriend is..

Said he won't buy if I don't allow

said he has a girlfriend..

etc

First, I gotta say, don't push them to me cos there is a WAY to get out of it before you stepped in it willingly..

maybe you were already high on alcohol..

maybe you don't remember how many times I've told you

I don't like to turn down on people, especially girls.

Don't put me in such a position if you really care.

You could have rejected yourself and walked away.

I don't know what does it imply.

Maybe, I was too sensitive..

I teared later on cos I felt all are but deceiving..

So what if I'm your girlfriend?

From what that two girls told me about how good my boyfriend is..

Yet seeing my boyfriend, who in the end came over to my side and talked to them too..

Makes me feel like.. I think you think too highly of him (:

It was nothing much, I don't blame him.

Socialising IS common, in those places..

You might find it too much to always vent about him here..

No, there are times we were so so blissful.

I don't deny that..

He has been here and not giving up on me..I agree..

But it sets me thinking..

Why do people give themselves the excuses of this thinking:

Guys flirt around but before they go to sleep they think of the one they love the most

Sorry, I don't wanna fall into that category

Neither do I want my boyfriend to.

Unless, we're together just to keep the status 'prettier'

I mean no offence to clubbers and dancers..

These are all subjectives..

Don't have to take it too personally (:

Lastly, I just wanna say, I know many guys just want to have that little fun

To always face the new interesting events and happenings

No one likes it stagnant..

But love is not about "you're boring but wife material, I'll keep you but at the same time go out there to taste a few sweet chics. No worries, I'll come back to you"

My boyfriend is no doubt a guy too.. duh right?

-.-

So it's natural afterall for him to catch a second glimpse at pretty girls..

Or talk to them in front of me..

Friends? The girls are not yet there..

Ok I shall stop.

I'll give it a never-ending essay if I continue.. hahha