Entry 314: His Enlistment in April

When he is not around, how could I probably survive my days..? Maybe even every second is gonna be a torture as it drags through the day..

April.. april.. april.. A good few weeks that he is gonna be at Tekong.. Will Monkaye take good care of himself? Not that he is weak but his body system just loves to make a prank or goes haywire out of a sudden..

Yes, I'm worried sick.

On the contrary, how do I go to sleep without him by my side? I'm so used to pestering him to accompany me till I fall asleep..

When I am tired, I do enter my dreamland rather quickly in less than five minutes.. But that was cos I know his presence is there.. right beside me.

There were few instances I was tired and left alone in the room while he continued gaming out there in the living room.. I tried switching off the lights and suddenly, I was wide awake, couldn't fall asleep.. Then I switched on the ample light, turned on the mtv channel and soon, I was a like a lil kid in her sweet sweet dream..

I couldn't deny the fact I am afraid to be left alone in the dark dark room during the night.. I will definitely be awake no matter how tired I am. I used to turn on the music on my brother's com when I slept in his room before his gf came along into our house. I just can't stand dead silence. And I seriously can't distract myself any else with those occasional marble sound..

Yesterday, while turning in, my back was facing him.. I lifted my hand a lil over to his body or with a slight body contact, I realised what was so significant in my life..

Warmth.

Yes, I need someone to be there beside me when I sleep. Human, of course.

The body temperature is what keeps me feeling safe and secured and I just couldn't imagine how it would be like after his enlistment.. What am I gonna do during that few weeks.. Not like I could leave the lights and music on throughout the entire night!

Oh dear oh dear.. every single thing of mine is here in his house.. Moving back home would be a hassle and likely to leave bad impression (I suppose) to his parents cos I will be like treating their house like some hotel, coming in and going out so frequently to take my stuffs...

T_T