Entry 159: Would You Know If I Fake A Smile..

We quarrelled for a short while yesterday night..

And as usual.. cause is your game.

I apologised for my impatient and irritated tone when you asked me to help you click that F1 in the game while I was reading the newspaper.

And when I asked if you would like to apologise too..

You said you did.

I didn't hear it.. I just wanted to..

That hard?

I really don't like it at all.

I try to comply myself to accept and not change

Cos I know NOT change can be a powerful thing.

But I wish.. You could empathise my stand..

I know my temper has been getting worse.

I know people around us notice it too.

But no one knows what has gotten to me to be who I am now.

They will never understand cos they don't stand in the same situation, in the same position..

They don't see and feel things as clear as me.

They don't. They really don't.

I try to coax myself to sleep without bothering you

After so long, I hate how much I still can't go to bed without you..

It is so hard for me even if I go back home..

Everyone can say their solution.. but none works.. do you know?

The feeling of the heart is beyond human control.

You came to me after a while apologising softly into my ears..

I accepted and I admitted my wrong.

But I thought for a moment or two..

The heart that has shed much tears for it aches too deep..

Does it have a chance to fully recover after medication that was delayed?

I typed on the phone that you hurt me and I don't like it.

And all you would is just apologise and hug..

If you really realise.. Please..

Treat me like a girlfriend to be doted on.

I might not be your future.. and all I ask for is that bit more of care..

I abhor the fact that game seems more of a priority to you.

Pull me back on track, will you?

我不想看着爱情冻结却什么都不做。