Entry 194: This Is Me..

I think I ought to let the world know what kinda person I am..

Those that I really consider main characteristics of me..

1) I cry easily.. Emotion takes its toll on me! haha I cry when:

     -I feel upset/angry/sad/disappointed

     -I was scolded by someone

     -I feel frustrated over missing items

     -I feel irritated by naggings that I've already acknowledged

     -I think of how I would lose my loved ones
     -The world is against me and no one else is there for me
     -Sudden unexpected/uninformed negative changes
     -My dearest boyfriend frowns

     -I feel I am a burden to my boy or anyone else
     -My boyfriend suddenly shouts at me for things I didn't expect will piss him off

     -Promises are not taken seriously

     -And the list goes on forever..

2) I need a trusting environment and people. When trust is a heavy word to many of us, if I wanna earn that trust from someone, and the things I demand is simply to keep promises even simple ones.. I would too fulfill what I said that I'll do. If can't, I wouldn't have make those promises in the first place.

3) Family, especially my mom, means a lot to me. This is not a common sense thing. Not everyone feels the same way though the sentence might be exactly the same - I love my family. I feel the ache, the worry, when I can't reach my mom. Maybe it is an accumulated feeling that I sense, she is not strong too..

4) I'm scared of the dark and I can't watch horror/ghostly movies. Maybe once in a while with some people but out of 100%, I'd probably have my eyes open in less than 50% of the show xD Perhaps I tend to think too much after watching.. or even hearing .. ^^

5) I am not rich. Not going to emphasize on this. I'm not working, yes lazy too maybe. But I really wish to be free from any kind of stress this holidays..

6) I would commit fast and forever in a relationship unless the guy cheated me again and again. I'm not a perfect person, I do err, but I would be faithful still. No flings.. don't misunderstand (:

7) I am naive. I thought that the way I treat other people, I should expect more or less the same thing back. Likewise in a relationship..

8) I am not a gamer. But for thrice I really touched games was all because of one of my ex-bf and that guy. Shall not elaborate further.

9) I am very weak emotionally in relationships. I was cheated more than twice and guys walked out of my life cos either I know they were unfaithful or they left with or because of other girls. That is the reason why guys who really wanna be with me have to consider, if you're not ready to settle down, don't come for me. And so, I am not one who could be reasonable when it comes to other girls and my boy.

10) This please listen. I am that kinda girl who wants my boy to come for me if we were to quarrel. I will never calm down if you think I should be left alone. I don't need others to talk to me when the key person is him.


 I have more than ten to list. If you could, you would realise the rests.. But not everyone understands.. Females are not hard to understand.. it's just that.. do you really know what empathy is? Empathy.

p.s: Promises are not meant to be broken..It hurts to know they are all .. empty words..