Entry 266: The exclamation mark of a brand new year

Goodbye 2009.

Entry 265: MV Set meals (:

Entry 264: 怎样的我才是我

 我曾想要亮丽，喧哗的人生

想要焦点通通在自己身上，无论走到哪里都会有人认识我

我曾想要能像暗淡的街上穿着闪耀及夺目衣裳的漂亮美美一样

能够几乎每个周末都享受夜晚的疯狂

我想要能够像个富贵的太太

不做任何粗活，就可以尽情享受人生

可是比起我想要的

我其实算幸福吧？

虽然未来遥不可及

虽然爱情没有保障

我还是选择面对

就算将来觉悟当时面包似乎胜过与爱情

我不会后悔放手一搏，对吧？

有时，我脑里藏着很多不愉快及让我烦恼的心事

不停的一一重播，放映

有时，我却突然感到一份积极

好像在告诉自己万事难不倒我，一切都会过去的

有时，我忘了自我

或则，我根本已经看不清自己是谁，需要的到底是什么

唉声叹气，太做作

别担心，我没事。

只是脑袋好像又开始想太多了。

Entry 263: Bits-and-Pieces

The childhood book I read..

I'm looking for it and surprisingly saw two of them in Baby's sis's bf house.

But, I think I read them in the chinese version.. am I wrong? hmmm

 Baby bought this just cos he likes the case.

The cookies in it are really bland. Perfectly suitable for patients >.<

My all-time favourite DOUBLE CHOCOLATE~!

Egg pancake by Baby xD

Yesterday's western dinner by Baby (:

Fish for his grandma

Medium steak for me

Medium rare for him

Goodnight world.

Entry 262: Clarification

I think my previous entry is making people misunderstood that I'm having relationship probs.
NONO! We are doing great :D

It was just a random post I saw when blog-hopping yesterday and certain points she mentioned were similar to what I once heard or said to him too. That's why I posted. No worries my dears.. I'm perfectly fine! =D

Entry 261: Purple Roseate Wish

I wish to receive..

Entry 260: The Last Letter

THE LAST LETTER


Spending almost my entire teenage life with you, i thought you were the only one that i could feel safe with. The only one who know me inside out. But I was wrong or we were wrong. It was a mistake that we got bck together 7 days ago. The rules you set for this r/s if we were to be bck together, when i thought only in game we got rules to obey. Funny thing, i agree with them and follow the rules you want me to. The 7 days been happy, i wouldnt lie yet torturing for me.

You told me trust is the big issue thats why we always end up quarrelling. So you set a rule, *forbid me to see your phone* Yes, at first we argue we disagree cause i always think when theres nothing to hide, theres noth wrong if i want to see your phone. But you say its all about respecting your privacy. Alright in the end, you allowed me to do whatever i want which include looking at your phone cause you told me you love me too much. I was that naive to think everything is bck for good. I was happy.

Thinking back, when i am out with you…. you locked your hp even ur lousy nokia hp you use in camp. Moreover, each time after using it you place it inside your pocket. Obviously trying to hide it away from me. I know i know i can ask you for password to access to ur hp but i didnt. I told myself, if you really think all this checking hp stuff is ruining this r/s, i want to see how is it helping it if i dont. Thus i told you, ” i take bck my words, i will never see your hp again. you dont have to hide it from me.“ The days I swallowed all the emotions, tried all i could to stop looking at your phone. And i did. I forced myself to be someone that wasnt me. Someone i know i wouldnt be happy to be. Cause deep down, i know you are happier that way.

Till today, it hit me that hard that I finally realise the effort i put in, the things i do, loving you so much till i lost myself are all useless. Cause you chose to believe what others had told you. Yes, your so-call friends. Im just fucking not gonna care if offend any of your friends. Those that tell you shit about me, and you trust them so much who you doesnt even know long. The last sentence that came out from my mouth was, ” if i were with that someone, will i even bother to contact you and be bck together?” You didnt hesitate and told me, ” ya why are you.”

At that very moment, the only thing that came out of my mind was you doubt my love for you. Doubt me for who i am, for all the things i did just for you……. When you told me to trust you, when you had never ever trust me. That moment, i went berserk. And that is the last time when i told myself its ENOUGH. I dont regret anything i done cause i know i tried all i could to salvage this r/s. I even went over my limit, allowing you to go Thai Pub for your friend’s birthday even though i fucking hell feel damn insecure that night. I kept all the unhappiness with me the very next day and treat it as nothing happened. You dont see it dont you? All i could feel was the hurt you bring me time after time. Im still gonna say it – you are that selfish.






For now and forever, ” you are out of my life, entirely out of my heart.”


I dont want to see you again, never ever again….






LOVE is just a four letter word, it doesnt exist in my dictionary.

[Retrieved from http://www.myfatpocket.com/shopaholiclady/2009/12/the-last-letter/]

I wanted to type in mandarin cos compared to profound english, simple chinese character can be that impactful. I believe. But I compared to impact and message, I'd rather choose to convey it in a way which everyone would understand, I hope.



What he had in mind about privacy and what she believed about transparency and honesty. They clashed.
What she didn't understand is how much the guy wanna be freed from those checkings.
But what he never understand is how he tried to protect his privacy would lead to worse scenarios.
Haven't anyone thought of the real meaning of being together? If there is bound to be respect, privacy is nothing.

Don't get me wrong.

Respect. It is not respecting for agreeing not to check when honestly, are you trying to hide something?
Respect. It is not for keeping anything from whom you said those three words to. Were you trying to protect her from the truth? Or were you trying to hide forever hoping she will never ever realise?

My boy has the exact same words like her guy. I think the same way she does but will anything change if we really don't bother what's behind those so-called privacy? Being together means being honest.

And only being freed from lies, will we be truly happy together. I've been trying to be as transparent as I could. I wonder, have he?

He has nothing to hide from me. This I know clearly. Or maybe for the moment. Trust takes its toll on many couples and friends. We doubted but what broke this thread is not distrust but the fact that people can't accept this test that someone up there has set for every single one of us.

If doubts cause a broken relationship, then let me tell you..
You're the one to be blamed cos you allow doubts to open up gaps which enable others to slip in.
You thought you were the weak one, you seek for someone who could be there as your voice, your ears.
You thought you found someone else worth your focus but when you really got together with that someone else, would things be the same as what you had or different? more or less.

As usual, I can't simply bring across this profound thought into such limited space and words.

有些事不能重来，但想一想，真正让事情/感情变迁的，到底是信任带给你的压迫感还是你有心无力的努力？

Entry 259: Jingle Jingle Santa!!

Received my first x'mas pressie!

Didn't buy much gifts cos I don't have extra pennies to spend >.<

BUT AT LEAST I BOUGHT TWO OK! =X

Not for my boy la. haha

Anyways, hereby to wish everyone an exciting and fun eve tomorrow!

Cheer as loud as you can for this white white (thou no real snow) season!

Loves.

Entry 258: Pass time?

MV is cute (:

Entry 257: 冬至

大家好啊！吃汤圆了吗？

开开心心的过这团圆的一天吧！


If you'd ever think of those that has passed on in your life..
Don't cry cos they have advanced to stay forever in your heart, engraved for eternity..

Entry 256: Sunday Girls @ Town [20 Dec '09]

Girls, if you want the photos, pm me online and I zip the files send you.

Not all photos are uploaded in this entry (:

GF was the LATEST!

But it was her last minute agreement to meet cos she was held up previously and was unsure whether she could meet or not. Glad she came afterall! =D

女人

Met up with her and Baby, I and her took the bus ride to town together.. ("v")

Dearie!

She didn't come with BS! muahahhaha

So they cannot wander off again =X

Girlfriend! She was the fourth to reach xD

奶妈！

OMG.. Miss her hell lots!

She was the first to reach town with two other fun guys..

Lover!

Girlfriend, 女人, Dearie and I bought her 3 famous amos cookies with some words as a lil belated bdae gift (:

My face looks weird but oh well..

such pictures are hard to come by!

Mandarin..

There is a uber nice "place" at the 2nd level..

Sofas, couches..

Just the BEST for relaxation and..

CAMWHORING!

X'mas is around the corner..

2 days to eve of the festive season..

ARE U READY?!~!!!!!!!!

Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way~

lalalallalala

21bucks of pool >.< Had fun though!

Not very sure if I could buy birthday bags loaded with sweets and stuff for my happy day that is FIRSTLY, gonna be spent with those lovely kids in my centre! =D

Not gonna worry bout celebration or being forgotten cos my dearest girls are booking me already! xD

As long as they are with me, I'm just more than happy..

No worries of not included in conversation

No worries of being left out

No worries of being neglected

They are the best of all! =DD

Didn't upload all photos taken but would try to ensure every next post has a photo accompanied with it so as to prevent it from looking too plain and dry =)

Replies:

AnonymousS:

First, I don't know what is my sis's blog. Doubt she is blogging.
Next, I've all the while been using the well-known program, Photoshop!
Download some brushes in www.deviantart.com
Load in your existing brushes and play around with them!

Might take a look at some tutorials online via youtube or search engines..
You'll do much better (:

Entry 255: Dark Stick..

Wonder how many girls you've admired, their beautiful smile, sparkling eyes, sharp features, hot and sexy figure..

Stepped out of the restricted compound and you see them on a stick, fagging.
Social embrace, nothing uncommon
No offense.

But look again, their beauty you told me
They begin to dim
Cos I believe she'll shine so much better
She could be more than pretty..
She could be gorgeous and elegant.

But definitely not with that stick

Entry 254: Family Chalet '09

Cuzzie, ZIXUAN aka AH NIU!!

That nickname was given since he was young.. and that day I called him that..

Gues what he replied?

.

.

.

谁讲你可以这样叫我的！=.="

Baby tried to make something outta the long long balloon too..

And of course, I camwhored. xD

This is a MOUSE!

Lols..

Did by cuzzie COW

Second youngest cuzzie at the moment..

Nicholas.

ME-Nicole: You want to take picture?

Nicole: Shook her head

Me-Nicholas: You want to take picture?

Nicholas: Ok!

>.<

So sis tried to snap with him too..

BUT!

hahha.. blur

SEE!! This mei mei never ever wanna take pictures for nut reason!

Their mom, my san jiu ma (third aunt) happily eating prawns..

Trying to show us how appetizing that prawn is..

But oh wells.. no one feel like eating even if she triiiiieeeeeeeeeeeddddddddd so hard.

LMAO.

Da jiu (eldest maternal side uncle).. Nice pose eh! LOL

Fourth uncle and aunt.

Saw the group of people right beside us?

They are cuzzie, Shimin's friends.

A total of 3 chalet rooms booked. 2 of which is occupied by us and one by them.

Heard that they only pay for the food which rounded to 20+?

Isn't it good to have a working mom capable of sponsoring?!

ooh.. Baby's fringe got hole.. HAHA

Prawniessss

The yellow shirt one is my MAMA!

I just realised how toyol-like is meimei in this photo >.<

SEE! Always refuse to take picture! argh.

Stayed for a night. Luckily got a bed to ourselves. But baby didn't sleep well due to the snores..

Basically the room is divided like 40 and above and the other below 40.

The contrast of the snores.. LOL.. older people snore louder!

Morning breakfast with Baby only at Mac.

Super butterie sausage..

ouhhhhh.. so saaaadddddddd~~

hah! None of my business since I don't like to swim.. =DD

He is forever adorably spastic-looking.. HAHA

Nicholas!

My MAMA!

Bought shades for her at 10bucks (:

Our smile so fake la! Lol.. but ok la.. she like um chio-ing..

Went arcade again the next day..

WE WERE SO CHEATER BUG! muahahhahaha

Anyways, there was this super kind indian man who gave us all the tix he has from the games..

And plus the extra 200tix which was retrieved from the machine which refused to reject them and was reported by XiaoYun jiejie that hers was stucked..

Initial number of tix was like 10s or 20s? And we got ten times more! WHAHAHAHHAHA

lucky shyt

Exchanged for 10botts of yakults.

18 Twisties and one strip of long sour candie.

ICE CREAM!! Yummilicious..

Rum n Raisin plus Cookies n Cream

Trying to kaypoh a bit. hee

GUO ZI NIU! muahahhahahahhaha

Wii!

The kids were occupying that the WHOLE time.

Ok.. Enough photo sharing! =D